Thank God

Thanksgiving is over, and so is the hassle. Almost non-stop this weekend (starting Tuesday afternoon), I’ve been working on CAR #50. The animation, which is rather large for a high school senior’s free-time standards, took me 2 solid days of work to complete… that’s about a week of production. The hardest part, believe it or not, was the simplest part – the lip syncing. It took an average of half an hour for me to get the lips right on each line – and seeing as the animation is 24 FPS, that’s often pure blocks of 24 different lip movements a second. If only James would slow down while talking. (haha, just kidding.)

I am now the rightful owner of the word “AWESOME AMAZING” so don’t use it.

I didn’t do anything but work on the animation on Wednesday, but on Thursday, I DID celebrate Turkey Day, or, as some people call it, “Thanksgiving,” as if they really show they’re thankful by stuffing their faces.

My sister and I usually go out to a fancy restaurant with my dad, stepmom, and stepbrother – one that often looks the San Francisco Bay, and one that consists of a set four-course meal at a set four-course price, but this year was a welcome change. We went to the house of the relatives of a friend of my mom’s. It was a really nice place, in the upper-class Larkspur area, and the food just kept on comin’.

Believe it or not, there was another dog there named Java – she was a large standard poodle, but had just as much energy as my Java would have in begging for scraps.

It was great, for once, to be among a bunch of new friendly faces, and to make as much noise and conversation as I would like, than to just sit and have dinner at a restaurant like I usually would. I did have to mention how my college application was going about a million times, and I got dirty looks that I’m interested in going to UC Santa Cruz… oh well. Don’t like going to a humanities-inclined school with a bunch of pot-smoking hippies? Go somewhere else.

Wait a second… I’d rather not go to a humanities-inclined school with a bunch of pot-smoking hippies… uh, whatever, they have a Digital Media major.

Also, if you missed it –

I. AM. MORLON.

Drao't Cu Vnaygehk Gemm Sa

This blog has been encoded to protect the innocent. Decode here. I swear it’s worth it.

Dfu funtc: Cdneb Bugan.

Ed fyc bnaddo silr zicd yhudran hekrd yd dra Uycec. E ynnejat bnaddo aynmo, pid sucd uv dra YSYWEHK baubma fana ymnayto drana. E ryt y kuut desa kuehk ynuiht yht yhhuihlehk ruf hud rusucaqiym un pecaqiym E ys, pid talmehehk du lussahd uh fradran E’s cdnyekrd un hud, du caa dra aqbnacceuhc uh baubma’c vylac. E dnimo ys y lmajan pycdynt.

Rymvfyo drnuikr dra hekrd, E teclujanat dra fuhtan uv ehdnitehk uh yhouha’c luhjancydeuh, fyedehk vun y pneav cemahla, yht drah cyoehk, “famm, drec ec yfgfynt.” Ed dudymmo lusbmadamo fungc vun yho luhjancydeuh ajan. Zicd fyed vun y csymm pnayg eh luhjancydeuh, yht drah cmufmo cyo, “famm, drec ec yfgfynt.” E lusbmadamo ufhat ajanouha.

Fa dnaggat du dra ynlyta y vaf desac, yht uv luinca Lrnec fyc drana, yht fa cyf y 10-oayn-umt get bmyo cusa cuhkc fedr suna cdoma yht yllinylo dryh E ryja. Kut TYSH ed. Yd maycd fa femm ryja ruba vun uin vidina kahanydeuh, ev oui lyh lymm 6 oaync y kahanydeuh kyb. Luhnyt yht “Suu,” fru femm pa eh LYN cuuh, E kiacc, teclujanat dra fuhtan uv PYFMC.

Dra rekrmekrd uv dra hekrd. Ev oui seccat ed, drah oui… ir… seccat uid.

Ryhhyr ehcecdat dryd y kysa uv cdneb bugan ahcia. E ytsed, E tu hud ghuf ruf du bmyo bugan. Ajanouha cyet dryd drao fana kuehk du ymm ku, pid frah dra desa lysa, uhmo Ryhhyr, ran vneaht (ynkr fryd ec ran hysa), yht E fahd ylnucc dra cdnaad du dra nuuv uv dra byngehk piemtehk. Cuuh ahuikr y mud uv udran baubma vummufat. Fa fana ymm dygehk ed mekrdmo, pid ed fych’d yc ev fa fanah’d kuehk du yldiymmo bmyo dra kysa. Y hudypma aqlabdeuh fyc Vameq, fru ehcecdat dryd ra fyc hud bmyoehk dra kysa du caa yhouha cdneb. Ra ryt y jano caneuic aqbnacceuh uh rec vyla dra ahdena desa, ymdruikr E luimt caa rec aoac fetah nekrd pavuna yho uv dra kenmc bmylat tufh draen lyntc. Ytsed ed, Vameq, ihmega dra nacd uv ic, oui’na dra uhmo uha fru fyc naymmo drana du caa cusa SYT CDNEBWUNC.

Sa, druikr… E fyc drana du caa SOCAMV tu cusa SYT CDNEBWUNC. Caa, ajah pavuna fa fahd ib du dra nuuv, E ryt nasujat so pamd, cfaydcrend, yht cruac. Ghufehk dryd E fuimt muca ev E bmyoat, E taletat du syga ed ayco.

Zicd y vaf dinhc uv ehdahdeuhymmo gaabehk pyt ryhtc, yht pavuna drao ghaf ed, E fyc tyhlehk so caqo puto ynuiht uh dra nuuv uv dra byngehk mud, cehkehk yht tyhlehk du dra Cbetansyh Femm Syga Oui Kyo cuhk, eh uhmo puqan-pneavc yht culgc. E vamd vnaa yc y pent. Yht ymm dra kenmc lussahdat uh ruf pivv E ys. E’s caneuic. Fungehk uid yd y kos byoc uvv mega ramm.

Ymm fyc kuut yht vih yht jano kyo, ihdem fa cyf y lyn’c raytmekrdc ybbnuylrehk ic vnus dra udran ceta uv dra nuuv. Drehgehk dryd ed fyc cusauha zicd taclahtehk, E ret pareht y lyn, pid kiacd fru ed fyc –

VILG DRA BUMELA VILG DRA BUMELA VILG DRA BUMELA VILG DRA BUMELA VILG DRA BUMELA VILG DRA BUMELA

– OAC! Cu E crufat socamv, xielgmo bid uh byhdc, yht asbdeat so bulgad du najaym so syt cdycr uv… suhao. (E’s dammehk oui, E’s lusbmadamo 100% lmayh, ou.) Vehymmo dnicdehk dryd hu tnikc fana yd maycd eh uin bulgadc, ra mad ic ku, yht E teth’d ku du dra bumela tabyndsahd yht E teth’d ryja du kad ynnacdat vun ehtalahd aqbucina! Pacetac, E fyc bnaddo silr eh pydrehk cied yddena. Oib.

Cu yvdan dryd, E fahd ynuiht yht dumt ajanouha yd dra Uycec uv so ysywehk cduno, yht cuuh ahuikr, E fyc ryemat yc dra Cdnebbehk Ranu Fru Payd dra Bumela. E ymcu huf ghuf dra lunnald fyo du bmyo Bugan.

Y meddma suna TTN, dra iciym tnejehk rusa uv nyhtus Tnyga getc, yht so tyo fyc tuha. Fruuuaaa.

Nutty Flinders McNuts

HAHE LOBBRE LOBBRE 3D

After spending a day of getting my college essay done (I will NOT post it because you will plagiarize and then no one will be allowed to get into college ever!), I picked up James who got Sophie to come and then we went to Starbase where we met Bryan and Adam and played some DDR. Then we had some more crêpes. I had one with THE SAUSAGES and then we threw them on the ground when we weren’t done. I drove everyone to San Francisco all by myself (with everyone else) and then we saw some improv. It was a Western-themed improvisational play, and Bryan was fortunate enough to call out the name “The Man With No Spurs” and the fun began. Insert basic plot of a western here with lots of funny awkward pauses and the best scene changes (through light cuts) ever. I had a Wonka Bar and then we all drank Coca-Cola bottles and annoyed people by blow-meing them. We went HOME! and my radio started to work again. More DDR ensued, and then I drove everyone home like the best driver in the world.

Everyone else will have something to say about this so don’t listen to me.

It's Curtains For You!

It takes two to make a weblog.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN (MOSTLY FAGS):

HELLO. I AM A STUDENT FROM TERRA LINDA HIGH SCHOOL AND I WISH TO SAY THAT YOU ARE ALL FAGS. YOU RUINED MY EXPERIENCE AT THE SECOND ANNUAL “LET’S ALL REMEMBER 9/11 AND CRY ABOUT IT” CEREMONY BY SCREWING UP AND NOT DOING WELL.

BECAUSE OF THIS, YOU ARE FAGS.

I WILL NOT ELABORATE ON THE MAGNITUDE AT WHICH YOU ARE THE AFOREMENTIONED FAGS, BUT DO TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THAT YOU ARE FAGS, AND YOU PARTICIPATE IN ACTIVITY THAT SOME OTHER FAGS OFTEN PARTICIPATE IN AS WELL.

MY FRIEND JAMES (NOT A FAG LIKE YOU) WAS IN A VIDEO ABOUT HOW HE DIDN’T CARE ABOUT 9/11. YOU DIDN’T CARE ENOUGH TO CARE ABOUT HOW HE DIDN’T CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHERS CARED ABOUT WHILE PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE CARED TO SEE THE VIDEO WHILE OTHER’S DIDN’T CARE. FAGS. ONE OF YOU DECIDED TO HAVE YOUR PARSNIP PIE WHILE HOMESTAR RUNNER WENT HUNGRY AND THEN YOU SKIPPED RIGHT THROUGH THE WHOLE TAPE. THE AUDIENCE WAS SUBJECT TO THE CREDITS.

ON BEHALF OF ALL WHO ARE NOT FAGS, WE WISH THAT YOU, AS FAGS, WOULD NOT DO SUCH STUFF THAT WOULD OFFEND NON-FAGS. IN DOING SO, WE WILL HAVE GREATER UNDERSTANDING AND BETTER COMMUNICATION BETWEEN THE WORLD OF NON-FAGS AND FAGS (YOU).

LOVE,
SOMEONE WHO I HOPE YOU DO NOT LOVE BECAUSE YOU ARE FAGS.

This Love Song Brought to You By Monetary Greed

Come on, Timmy. Give the weekend back its blog.

It all started on a Friday night, when three unsuspecting members of the Faden family came across a new DISCOVERY! on Fourth Street. It was just a crêperie – or WAS it? It seemed like a crêperie from the outside. The stoves looked like stoves made for preparing crêpes. But what this small bit of property really is will surprise you –

It actually IS a crêperie.

Unbeknownst to Jeffrey, the strong, dashing young All-American teenager with a Heart of GoldTM but beknownst to his younger sister Lily’s soccer coach, the latter of the two actually OWNED the crêperie. OWNED.

She beknew it because she beOWNS it, of course.

Ellen, the Jewish Mother From The Upper-West Side with an Arthritis of GoldTM, ordered the galette du saumon. It was too HOT!

Lily, the You-Go-Girl of the class of 2008 with a Webcam Backstory of GoldTM, ordered a butter lettuce salad with prosciutto. It was too COLD!

Jeffrey ordered a galette du jambon et des œufs, and it was JUST RIGHT. :D

The End

LOL THE INTERNET

HELLO!(WELCOME !!) I AM JEFFREY FADEN (NOT HIS DAD) AND I AM POSTING IN MY HJOURNAL ONLINE!!! I WROET ANOTHDER COlLEgE ESSAy AND I THINK IT IS TOTAlLY RAD! (IT was NOT WRITTEN BY MY DAD!!!) TAKE A LOOK ALl YOU COOL HAXOr PEOPLE!!!

Forty bucks an hour! I proudly headed home to tell Dad that the zillions of hours I’d spent refining my web design had finally paid off. Even more than the Best in County award I received for my website and the First Place blue ribbon for my comic strip at the Marin County fair. A local octogenarian had hired me to animate a video he was producing. It was a simple idea: Rupert, a worm-like line inches forward and retreats, tracing out a map of the world coordinated with a musical score.

Figuring I could knock it out in a couple of weeks, I started working at Mr. Parker’s house and then continued to work on the project at home. My new employer bought me the coolest drawing pad and I was anxious to get to work. Although the video was only supposed to be five minutes long, I had to generate about 7000 frames. After a couple of weeks, I attempted to show Mr. Parker my progress and discovered that the Flash program I was using on my Windows PC did not work on his Macintosh. What a bummer! At that point sweet Mr. Parker morphed into a grouch and accused me of making this a lifetime project. Hey, it was my lifetime and I didn’t want to spend it on a retractable worm.

Luckily there was a Kinko’s down the street, and I spent a day there using a Macintosh to redo the animation. I went back to Kinko’s the next day and found that my file had disappeared without a trace. I wanted to disappear, too, but I decided to stick it out. Moving into Kinko’s, I spent day after day there, bringing my food in from the KFC next door. Over time the Flash file grew too big, even for all the systems at Kinko’s and I had to beg a friend of my Dad’s, who had a graphic design studio, to borrow his “big Mac” to complete the project.

Over the next weeks I made several trips to Mr. Parker’s house to show him what I thought was my final version, only to be sent back for additional changes. Feelings were hurt and eventually I stopped charging him for my time and worked for free. The video production person wanted me to make the worm-line thicker and the musician wanted changes to the tempo. My Dad told me that I should have done the animation programatically instead of by hand, but it was too late for that. This project kept coming back like an Austin Powers sequel.

Months later I received a package in the mail: the Rupert video. It was terrific and my name was right there in the credits, “Animated by Jeffrey Faden.” After surviving Rupert, I’m more careful now about undertaking projects and making commitments. But, I think there will always be a conflict between completing a job on time and doing the best job I can.