Cheek semen.

I don’t know if anyone ever gets this. I do, and I think my sister does. But if I’m ever eating something intensely sweet, like a ganache or some other chocolate monstrosity, my upper cheeks, right at my cheekbones, start to feel cold and damp. I dunno. People get weirded out when they hear that, but it’s only caused by something really, really sweet. They actually do get sort of wet. Don’t know why!
Anyway I just finished the largest, most succulent apple I have ever seen. And it made my cheeks moisten like you have never seen. I mean oh my god was it an experience.
I totally get to eat for free (including more apples!) for the next few days because I’m trying to clean out our fridge, which my roommates are really good at filling up with stuff they are never going to eat. Good thing I decided to do so, because amidst my refrigerated travels, I found 2-week-old raw meat. All RIGHT!


  1. I never get that, but I have my own weired one. Eating, or even thinking about eating something sower like a lemon causes some glands in the back of my mouth to release some sour chemical. It sort of feels the way it does when you put a 9-volt battery on your tongue, except it is in the back and on the sides. My ears will clear as well, feeling like the wax instantly melts, similar to how they do when you eat spicy foods.

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