It’s funny. The more I distance myself from Christie, the more I realize that she was just using me. Of course you have your own needs when you’re in a relationship, but hers was just for emotional and physical closeness because she felt so emotionally unstable.
Now what’s funny is that I feel as if I need comfort. Getting a hug has never felt so good before. I lose faith more and more in the people that surround me. But the only person around for me to hug and get sympathy from… is Christie.


  1. You know what’s the most useless emotion? Sympathy, definitely. And loneliness. You know this. I’ve seemed mean lately, because I know this too, and you’ve been ridiculous lately.
    Stop being so goddamn emo. It’s my job.

  2. Jeffrey! How dare you put a sadface Jeffrey as your default icon. Could you stoop so low? In fact, none of your userpics look happy. 🙁
    I understand your partially posting so we back in Marin can see what’s going on, but I have heard you time and again say how non-constructive “*huggles* get better” posts are. In that case, I assume you are asking for something more than “cheer up emo kid,” although once in a while that at least shows someone is caring. In any case, if finding good friends isn’t working in the places you’ve tried (dorms etc) it’s probably cuz all the other kids like you are also sitting in their rooms while their roomates are getting drunk. That being the case, going to said parties won’t really get you anywhere but worse (but you’ve probably already figured that out), and staying in your room probably won’t either, unless you find a UCSC online community. Hey, maybe there’s an LJ one? I’m sorry the DDR scene down there is so lame…. but maybe the kiddies go to an arcade instead of the boardwalk? Who knows. Anyway, Santa Cruz is a big town… hang out at a comic store or two and I’m sure you’ll make some friends 🙂 And no, I’m not saying “forget about us, we can’t do anything from where we are, move on.” But of course it’s important for you to be happy down there, considering you’ll be gone for quite some time :/
    Deal with that icon.

    1. I WILL NEVER REPLY IN AN EMAIL COMMENT NOTIFICATION AGAIN. It ate my giant reply by switching messages TWICE now.
      Thank you. This is just like what I try to do with others – while a sympathy comment is like giving someone a fish, a constructive comment is like teaching them to fish.
      I only post emotional crap like this when I’m alone. I’m sure that’s the same for most LJ users. No one is this outwardly expressive about themselves when they’re in the company of friends, and I am surrounded by good people more often than I make it out to be.
      There are two UCSC LJ communities. I’m a member of both.
      And yes, I didn’t know the icon looked so sad. I just didn’t want such a goofy one as the old one. I’ll change it. 🙂

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