I shouldn’t be laughing at this, but it’s time for Mario is Stoned‘s

MISSING CHILDREN PHOTO EXTRAVAGANZATM!
This is where I find pictures of kids on the internet that have been gone for 5 or more years. Using the FASCINATING technology of “age-progressed photos,” the police have released photos of what the kids probably look like now. This method involves taking the head of some older kid and putting the missing kid’s face on it. By the way, you may be very offended by this cruel form of, uh, cruelness, so why don’t you start off at Cliff Yablonski or Fat Chicks in Party Hats to laugh at people who are actually safe at home eating their asses off.

Let’s look at Wisconsin’s current list.
Good face reconstruction… FOR ME TO POOP ON
Um, although she’s DEAD, she might or might not be wearing glasses.
It’s MISPLACED FACE ON NEAR-BALD HEAD GIRL FROM “GEEN BAY!”
Anyone with the same dopey hairstyle and goofy grin should be questioned immediately.
I’ve already run out of snappy comments.

And now for MissingKids.com
Aheha. I think the eyes were taken from the Microsoft Clip Art Gallery.
DON’T STARE INTO THE EYES
Which one would look more like Margaret Thatcher with any more progression?
I wonder what “give up” means.
She’s not age-progressed, but either way she’s the most pleasing to look at.

I should have planned this better. I’ve already run out of really good photos, but those terribly done jobs should tide you over for a while (except for that last one, which should tide you over for a while anyway).

…God, I’m an awful person.

Oh, by the way – this is a note for James – I found a DDR machine on fourth street it’s in the wonderfully titled “SPACE PORT 1 THAT IS RAD TO THE MAX”… or something. Believe it or not, it was established in the 80’s. But, I can see the DDR machine from the street, but I don’t know how much it costs because my dad won’t let me play it until I get better grades (uh, okay). But it’s THERE! You don’t have to ask for directions, because I’ll post the obscure directions here for no one but you to understand!

It’s on the opposite side of the street from Bananas At Large. It’s really close to Pier 6 Chinese Food, where we ate. Um, if you don’t know where either of those are, it’s on the opposite side from Double Rainbow, and WAY up the street. Just look for a dumb name and stupid paintings of spaceships out front.

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