29 thoughts on “Update”

  1. It just seemed like it all happened in a few weeks, and well, it pretty much did.
    I think someone needs to look into what happened at that company, if she isn’t alone in getting cancer like this.
    My condolences, Jeffrey and Lily

      1. Her body was very healthy, it doesn’t make any sense why it would spread as quickly as it did (unless her body was fighting it off for such a long while and that’s why there wasn’t too much of a noticeable change?)
        I would like to know the outcome, if the relation of that company really did affect what happened today.

        1. Just some clarification: Betty was self-employed but worked in a small office complex. It’s at least 30 years old (since she’d been working there for that long), so there is a chance that something went wrong with it.

    1. People keep telling me I should try to help him out, but I really don’t know what I could be doing. I’m a few states away, working on my master’s degree, and I will be home for the funeral. I call him up and keep up to date.
      Am I missing something for my situation?

        1. I can only imagine. I haven’t ever heard him cry so much – in fact, the last time I remember was during their wedding 10 years ago.
          Barring other opportunities, I’m planning on living in the Bay Area over the summer, and if that’s the case, I’ll be around Dad for at least a few months. Lily’s still there until the end of the summer too, so at least he has companionship until then.

          1. I’m not sure if him being alone in that big house after the summer is up is a good idea, maybe he should take some time off and go on a vacation after summer?

            1. The remark about the big house is true. I don’t think that’s going to be where Dad lives for too much longer. These are future plans once everything else has settled down, but it is certain that he won’t be able to maintain a property that large by himself.
              The plans were, of course, that Lily or I would eventually inherit the house, but obviously a large amount of the will is going to change.
              My dad goes on business trips – in fact, he is planning on going to St. Petersburg at the end of March, which, when Betty’s cancer was found, he thought he’d have to cancel, but she died much more quickly than expected, so plans are back on – but that’s mostly what they are. Having gone on a number of vacations with Betty, tourism certainly won’t be as fulfilling.

              1. It was recently renovated in certain areas, it would be a bit sad to give it up (if he were to sell it)
                Oh, right, he goes to a lot of places… I’m not sure what he could do to relax. The house seems scary and lonesome, vacations aren’t anything new; I think he needs something big to distract him for a little.

                1. Ironically, workers finished construction either today or yesterday (yes, they continued to work while Betty was dying, because a lot of people were coming and going to say goodbye).
                  The room they finished renovating was meant to be Betty’s Feldenkrais studio, but now with that having no purpose, a guest room which used to be my bedroom, and Lily eventually vacating her room as well, the house is especially imposing.

                  1. Still, I’m quite surprised at her rate of deterioration, Lily’s blog covered a good week or so prior to today where she was still up and walking around…
                    I don’t understand the difference between her being cared by workers in your own home or being in the hospital? Was there a difference?
                    Edit: Saw your edit, and yes, that is quite ironic…

                    1. She was at home to die, because there was no cure. The hospital would simply prolong her life through feeding tubes or whatever, but that’s not really what Betty wanted. So she was just cared for – kept clean and comfortable – until she died.,

  2. A way to help Dad (and help me help dad): Think of things a single 60 year old guy can do to enjoy himself that don’t necessarily involve dating. He’s already telling me how lonely he is. I’ll be gone Saturday-Tuesday and he broke down crying saying “I’ll miss you.” :(

    1. When really bad shit has happened to me and I was too down to really enjoy myself I would smoke pot. It let me enjoy the music I was listening to, and it allowed me to eat. My dad is in his 50’s, a successful guy, and he smokes. Its not the worst idea in the world. I mean, there’s really nothing that’s going to make your dad feel better, I bet, so all that crap about the “right” way to mourn goes out the door when your desperate to feel better.

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