Passion.

I’ve been thinking about passion for the past day or so. It’s been kind of depressing; I’m really having trouble thinking of anything that really, really interests me.
I only hope that I get a job where I can move up to the point where I really enjoy what I do. I’m not sure if it’s very reasonable to think that way, though, so I’m trying to compile a list of stuff that I would enjoy doing, regardless of pay:
– Computer repair. I solve people’s tech problems all the time and love doing the problem solving. I’m not an electrical engineer, I’m not A+ certified or anything, but I can build and diagnose computers, hardware-wise and software-wise. Repairmen don’t get paid that much but I bet I’d really like what I’m doing.
– Flying planes. This is something I know nothing at all about. But damn, I love being flown around. I mean, being a pilot is just like being a glorified bus driver, and I don’t know whether pilots really are able to settle down – not that I’d care. I’ve always respected pilots. But considering all the bureaucracy that must go with becoming an actual pilot and working at an airline – not sure if I would enjoy it at all.
– Video games? I don’t know. I don’t like physics, I’m not a character designer or artist or anything, and I’m barely a composer. I like video games and it would be cool to say that I have a career doing things with them, but what exactly I would do, I don’t know. And before anyone quips, I certainly would not enjoy a career just playing video games. When you get older, sitting on your own and playing the same old thing over and over isn’t as appealing as it might once have been.
And that’s it! That’s all I can think of that I would really enjoy as a career. Computational linguistics-related stuff isn’t on the list. It’s interesting stuff but it’s not something I love doing. Maybe I’ll have stronger feelings about it once I actually delve into more grad-level classes centered around it. I still don’t know enough about the field.
The big problem, as it has always been, is that I hate quantitative stuff. Programming’s fine, to an extent, but regardless of how “natural” I might be at it, I hate doing math. It bores me, annoys me, confuses me. I seriously believe I would not be able to put up with even a year of it to be able to achieve something engineering-related. And there’s also the fact that I’m just a 3.0 student. I’m not a genius, I don’t get awards, I don’t get scholarships and grants – I’m just really lucky to have cash in my pocket. The problem with not having a passion is I don’t try my very hardest to achieve.
Man, I’m really thinking of taking this summer and doing something with it. Going somewhere, expanding my horizons, leaving my student life behind for at least a few months. Unfortunately, that’s something I said I’d do last summer and I ended up sitting on my ass and working less-than-part-time, minus July when I went to Israel.
Ho hum.