I’m not taken seriously.
That might be quite hard NOT to believe, if you’re a reader of this journal. Online, although I’m not a total FYAD AMBASSADOR, I post some *silly!* stuff and troll around some *stupid!* messageboards. So right. Online, ha ha mood hilarity.
A majority of you don’t really know me offline, though, to actually see the reason people enjoy being around me. Or, at least, I’d like to think they do. I’ve been told that I’m quite the cool kid in the real world, no matter how much I enjoy pissing everyone off on the INTERNET!!! internet
But still… it might be because I’m the big ol’ straight white rich kid at Porter, but my circle of friends here, although they do see me goofing around now and then, don’t really ever seem to feel like including me in anything. Actually, a lot of people here are my friends, but I’m not really THEIR friends. Know what I mean?
This really goes along with that girl that I tried asking out earlier this quarter. She’s always searching for a boyfriend, she’s always posting in her journal (of course, poetically and all that shit) how she wishes she could find someone! etc. etc. etc., but of course, when I come up and say “HEY LETS GO OUT” it’s like ha ha you? But you’re the jester!
I feel sometimes as if some people feel ashamed that they hang out with me (or I hang out with them). Maybe this is a feeling that everyone gets, and of course, there’s ALWAYS the chance that it’s just my bloated ego talking, but I really don’t think I get enough recognition by those who are around me on a daily basis.
Granted, I said “AROUND ME ON A DAILY BASIS.” I don’t need any e-friends to back me up on this, because you, of course, have no idea.