Wah wah wah

I’m not taken seriously.

That might be quite hard NOT to believe, if you’re a reader of this journal. Online, although I’m not a total FYAD AMBASSADOR, I post some *silly!* stuff and troll around some *stupid!* messageboards. So right. Online, ha ha mood hilarity.

A majority of you don’t really know me offline, though, to actually see the reason people enjoy being around me. Or, at least, I’d like to think they do. I’ve been told that I’m quite the cool kid in the real world, no matter how much I enjoy pissing everyone off on the INTERNET!!! internet

But still… it might be because I’m the big ol’ straight white rich kid at Porter, but my circle of friends here, although they do see me goofing around now and then, don’t really ever seem to feel like including me in anything. Actually, a lot of people here are my friends, but I’m not really THEIR friends. Know what I mean?

This really goes along with that girl that I tried asking out earlier this quarter. She’s always searching for a boyfriend, she’s always posting in her journal (of course, poetically and all that shit) how she wishes she could find someone! etc. etc. etc., but of course, when I come up and say “HEY LETS GO OUT” it’s like ha ha you? But you’re the jester!

I feel sometimes as if some people feel ashamed that they hang out with me (or I hang out with them). Maybe this is a feeling that everyone gets, and of course, there’s ALWAYS the chance that it’s just my bloated ego talking, but I really don’t think I get enough recognition by those who are around me on a daily basis.

Granted, I said “AROUND ME ON A DAILY BASIS.” I don’t need any e-friends to back me up on this, because you, of course, have no idea.

18 thoughts on “Wah wah wah”

  1. You are not dangerous or flashy enough. Your hallmark is your subtlety and stability, quiet intelligence, social realism — a hard sell for a culture obsessed with oneupsmanship, padded résumés, and gold teeth.
    I think if you were just a little more obvious about being as hard core as you actually are, if you censored yourself less in real life, made it clear that you have some edge, then people would be more overtly interested in you. But you’ll also scare more people away.
    But frankly I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. I think people who don’t see how fucking badass you are within 20 minutes of meeting you are looking for the wrong stuff.

    1. Believe it or not, I was actually much more flashy… and basically more outgoing… last year. And I think I scared more people away. I think I’m having slightly better luck this year with new people, and the old ones that I’m mostly talking about sorta haven’t adjusted to me being more amicable and down-to-earth.
      Back at home, people liked me just the way I was.
      I think my complaint I made is sorta weird, because I’m MOSTLY talking about the people I know offline, and how they think of me online… or just in private. (In lots of ways, it’s seen as the same thing.)

  2. It’s a shame that I can’t base a valid opinion of you just from the attitude you’ve exemplified online, but from two people whom of which do know you in person when talking to them.
    I will say one thing though, it seems fairly similar to what I already assumed of you.
    That was several entries back when you asked people what your problem was that you could try to reflect on for change.

  3. I’ve a very similar problem, actually–though one that reaches a bit further than just a couple buddies. Good chance it’s a reason Melissa dumped me, though that’s just guesswork.
    My answer: lots of drugs and alcohol! Solves the problem NOW, while making it harder to deal with in the future. And since the future won’t be here for a while, we’ve got no problem!

    1. Wherever you go, it’s going to be the same thing. Do you honestly think that a certain group of people is going to act a certain way just because they go to a certain school?
      I’m NOT complaining about all the people at Santa Cruz, I’m complaining about some of the people I’ve met. If you think all people at Santa Cruz, or Reed, act all nice and welcoming, you’ve got a surprise coming. :P

      1. I was speaking more about the general environment. Sheesh. “Rarr.” (Does that little bitchy cat-scratch motion that people do when they think someone just said something uncalled-for.)

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