You know how sometimes your muscles just twitch? It doesn’t hurt or anything, but right now I have them in an eyelid and a muscle on the side of my ribs. I feel like a little man is inside the muscle and knocking on the walls, as if I could feel the little imprint of a miniature fist from the outside.
You should all go read Hannah and Jeremiah‘s blog. Joint blogs are very entertaining to read, because although they could easily turn into some sort of dialogue, it is only sparingly that they do. It’s as if you’ve got the same person with dissociative identity disorder and he is really good friends with himself.
Since this is yet another random stream of thought, I might mention that the usage of “he” and “himself” in the past paragraph applies to both genders, and in the grammatical sense, this should be the case even when women are writing about an ambiguous situation.
I feel like I’m getting back on track, although my grades are lower than they’ve been in quite some time. I have more C’s in my classes than usual, but I brought up a few grades from D’s earlier, so things are looking up. I’m getting work done. That is a breakthrough. I can get on the computer and do necessary work before I go and chat/read comics/blog/etc. I still need to work on this, but I have been turning all of my assignments in for quite some time now, and it’s only getting easier.
Although I’ve always seen TL‘s technology situation as in the dumps, it does have a few things going for it. A few concerned teachers have gone out of their way to make some changes. First is the website, which is only a few years old, put together by my math teacher. He also helps arrange computerized grading and attendance, which has made the jobs of teachers much easier. Revolving around the website and in-class computerization is a school-wide network, where one can log in at one of dozens of iMacs with their own username/password. None of this is really new, but it just shows how technology is helping. And I should mention that California has one of the lowest education budgets in the country.
There is one rather new thing: last year, about 4 dozen iBooks were purchased with AirPort capability, so carts go from class to class and people can go on the internet and access their files from their desks. And recently Mac OS X was installed on the iBooks, so we can do all of our work in style.
One thing I’m working on these days is my cardinal traits, as seen from other people. I see myself as a self-actualized individual, and given this sense of control, I can define what I want to be percieved as. One trait that I really feel I don’t embody is “kind.” Here’s an example of flat-out kind: Chris. He is the kindest person I know. Every person I’ve ever seen him talk to, online or offline, he has complimented and supported in some way. He is very outgoing, as he can and will say anything to anyone he pleases. From what I can see, he is not introverted in any way.
Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions, but what I’m getting at is the fact that I wish I was more open and kind like that. One thing that sets me back is that I’m not sure I want to rid of my sarcastic edge. I insult ideas and occasionally I single out people I know. The only way people know I’m kidding and good-natured is that I place a “:P” at the end of my sentences. (Since I can’t do this in real life, I’m just much quieter instead.) Because of this, maybe I don’t want to become such the kind person that Chris is. Perhaps I can work on my generosity otherwise, like my selfless desire to drive people around.
Okay, I’m tired of writing for now. Check out my new LiveJournal. It makes a much stronger statement than anything I could ever write here.