Feeling: jealous
Listening to: My new Winamp Top 50 list

Boy, am I jealous. Of just about everyone. I often feel this way, but I’m usually just too proud to express it. I know I have a lot to be thankful for and lots of things that people would envy me about, but all of it’s material.

First of all, I’m jealous, and have always been jealous, of Ian. He runs, what, three webcomics simultaneously, and is the greatest internet teen success story I’ve ever heard of. I still get to talk to him since I’m big in #rpgcomics, but he’s just so… famous. I wonder if he really appreciates and *wants* all the fame he’s getting. Hu…

Then there’s everybody at Safety Monkey’s cam portal. They’re all in their twenties, they drink a lot of vodka, and have established positions on the net, blah blah, but I want on. I have a webcam. And a SNAPPY webcam. Yessirree.

And Bob. He’s always been a better writer, has always been able to keep up his little quirks (has been wearing a black hat forEVAR), and always seems to have a much more interesting life, according to his Livejournal. At least he has many more female friends than I. Or friends in general.

Speaking about that, there’s Steve and his new condescending, Max Payne worshipping, Slashdot-readin’ posse. I’m always in the wrong place when he and Felix and Billy and Simeon and lots of other names you don’t care about stay up all night having an all-out ORGY, as far as I know. Am I jealous and do I want sex? Heck, everybody does. But I don’t really plan to have sex as a teenager, and I’d rather have sex with someone I’ve actually KNOWN for more than one night. They could just be bragging sons of bitches being immature and whatnot, but I doubt it. I mean, virginity fades away from more rambunctious at my age… and that’s that. Furthermore, they all love their PC games. I don’t own ANY PC games. I’m on a budget for one thing, and I don’t really want to go around shooting polygons with my polygons.

Everyone I’ve mentioned is nice and all, but it may be just too much to reach out to them. I’d have to change myself into something I’m not to be recognized. I guess I don’t want that… all it would do is boost my ego and make me elitist. it’s probably just better to keep on doing what I’m doing, making MIDIs, and relating on a better level to people like James.

I’m still jealous of all those bastards, though.

EDIT: And Indogutsu, DAMMIT! Although his self-esteem’s too low to admit he has superior composing skills.

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