The Reasoning of a Villain

These are thoughts. They are not what I truly believe, but they are points that I’ve come to by myself. You’ll notice that they are very similar to the rantings of villains from popular RPGs – they often say these things promply before getting the shit kicked out of them, since that’s the only way that they can be proven wrong. Unfortunately, it seems to me like the protagonists are just proving the point of the antagonists…

What is the world’s number one problem? It’s overpopulation.

With an exponentially growing number of people in the world, we must consume the world’s resources at a growing pace. Forests and jungles will die out faster, we will use up the world’s oil, and there will be more and more starvation, as long as we continue to let people live.

The ingredient for a perfect world? The absolute extermination of the human race. I do not agree with anti-environment types that remove laws to destroy wildlife, yet I cannot agree with pro-environment types that aim to prolong human life, at the same time prolonging the inevitable destruction of Mother Nature.

Now I would probably grow really powerful and get a giant laser beam and kill millions and millions of people, and the world would be at balance, and wilderness would thrive.

At about this point, if this were a game, someone would argue with me, and probably kill me. Then, they’d win and live a long life, making the human race grow and grow, starting the cycle over again.

Find a Final Fantasy that doesn’t fit this description…

One point someone could make is that the earth will be around much longer than humans. I believe that… but don’t you get a clear mental image of empty, rolling fields under a bright blue sky when the abscence of human life is mentioned? That would mean that the world is now going through an epidemic of parasites that must use its resources to live.

The Fat Jeffrey

This is the sandwich that I always order at delis. It’s definitely a full meal.

Nex time you’re at a deli –
Get a roast beef sandwich on a French roll.
Not everything on it – JUST yellow mustard and pickles.
With that, order Swiss cheese, and –
Here’s the most important ingredient: You want potato salad INSIDE the sandwich. Just order a coat of it inside the bun. They may charge you extra for the potato salad – get about an eighth pound’s worth if they ask.

And there you have it: The Fat Jeffrey. Best sandwich in the whole world ever.