Today was a good day. I spent four freaking hours at deLoux Cosmetology, a beauty college in which people go to college to learn about beauty. And they do really cheap hair-related stuff, because if they screw up there’s no liability, and their grade depends on it.
I came in asking for white hair. Well, as some may know, that’s not exactly possible for most people. So I settled for what really is “platinum”: really, really light blond. The operation started off the way it usually did. They thoroughly paint my hair with blue stuff, leave it in under a heat dryer for half an hour, then wash it out. I was F3WL enough to say that the result wasn’t light enough.
So there went another hour of hair painting, drying, and washing. Near the very end, my scalp sorta started to tingle. It’s the bleach… by this point, any normal person would be in a lot of pain. I decided not to push my luck, and was about to say that my hair was bright enough, when…
HMM, says miss instructor lady. NOT LIGHT ENOUGH. YOU GET AN F. So they apply another coat. I’m put in the dryer for ANOTHER 30 minutes… and this time it hurts.
Oh, how it hurts.
Imagine my scalp. Ripped from my skull and sewn back on. Vegetables have been quickly minced on it by a master chef with a big knife. It has been rinsed with gasoline and ignited with a blow torch. It has then been placed under a falling truck filled with blue ice packs.
I beared it for 30 minutes under that dryer, squirming, wincing, groping myself, trying to find any method possible of not screaming like I did at the
CONCERT YESTERDAY!! At the Oasis, otherwise known as the MIYO Teen Center, where Digiquest is, where Bryan worked. It’s a bi-weekly thing, and I wrote about it before, and I’ll be going to it much more after this, but I might as well mention the highlights.
Or start off with the BAD PARTS like James coming. Damn, he ruined the whole party. And 80’s and Jeff and Felix and Steve and Nessa and Simeon and Hannah and Bryan and Adam and that guy who looks like Jay, oh my.
I slept with Hannah. Seriously. She told me to say that but oh is it true. Yeah.
And I also tried Pepsi Blue and my life is complete. It shouldn’t be called Pepsi, but it tastes good. A little more like Mountain Dew, come to think of it. Maybe it should have been called “Mountain Dew Deep Blue,” or even better, “Mountain Dew: Blue One.” (If anyone understands that joke, including James who forgot it by now, I will send you a really big smiley face through email.)
I lost Xanadu and Have You Never Been Mellow. Damn you, Olivia. Your songs are so hard. (I’m freaking serious, I lost those two.)
Oh, and tonight I went to the weekly Meeting of Old People at my temple. My mom and I went there to greet the Jewish high holidays. They’re nice guys. We waved. And sang stuff.
Well, that’s that. I guess I’ll be seeing you around, if you’re there later. Bye.