{"id":561,"date":"2004-07-06T13:04:00","date_gmt":"2004-07-06T13:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jeffreyatw.wordpress.com\/2004\/07\/06\/decide\/"},"modified":"2004-07-06T13:04:00","modified_gmt":"2004-07-06T13:04:00","slug":"decide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/2004\/07\/decide\/","title":{"rendered":"Decide"},"content":{"rendered":"

My big ol’ problem is the fact that I excel at nothing, but am skilled in many, many things. I’m a jack of all trades. But – pardon the analogy, I’m slowly working myself off of FFXI – I’m like a new player to an MMORPG; I like doing a whole bunch of different activities, but sooner or later, I need to settle down and decide my battle position.
\nEven my portfolio<\/a> shows that I haven’t really decided on anything. All of the work I showcase in its four sections definitely shows I have talent, but NOT ENOUGH to show that I actually specialize in something.
\nHere’s where I put myself down because I KNOW that there are those better than me:
\nMy website designs are often unoriginal and quite simplistic. Of course, I’ve never been given the opportunity to create a very large site with a good number of sections, so I’ve put what I’ve given to use… but still, I lack a good amount of knowledge in design and artistic value and my sites end up looking unappealing one way or another.
\nMy Flash videos don’t demonstrate a great knowledge of animation, they don’t show that I know how to program well in ActionScript, and the actual interfaces I HAVE designed lack professionalism. Take a look at any other flash intro on some corporate site, then look at the stuff I’ve done. Sure, it’s an unfair comparison because the people who do those make a living off it and I’m just some kid, but… dude, this is what I’m talking about. I WANT to make a living off something like this.
\nMy comics? Don’t get me started. I cannot draw. I’ve got perfect grammar, but since when did that ever matter? Just because I dot my t’s and cross my i’s does not mean that I know how to WRITE. What’s more, I’m horrible with deadlines and jokes just don’t come to me anymore. I don’t really know how I ever pulled CAR off. But even then, it was very simplistic and not something I’m too proud of, aesthetically.
\nMy music is comprised of OTHER PEOPLES’ WORK and my own 1-minute MIDIs. Come on, that’s nowhere close to professional. I can’t make anything more than MIDIs.
\nSo yes, I demonstrate skill in all these areas. I could compose a song or design a website if someone asked me. But it’s not good enough – I want to be a professional in ONE of these categories, NOT a jack of all trades, and a quite mediocre one at that!
\nTo top it all off, I’m barely ever in the mood to create anything. Once I get a really great idea, I sit down, start off on it, get EXTREMELY bored, go play a game, and forget about it, or look back and think it was a stupid idea. So my laziness factor definitely does not aid my creativity.
\nI’m not only<\/i> writing this to vent. I would like some suggestions. But I don’t want anything like “wat r u talking about CAR was so funny y did u stop it.” This isn’t a pity session, this is an IMPROVEMENT session. Tell me what you think I should do with these skills and whether I should focus on a certain one, and I might just counter your statement with even more self-deprecation. Try it, it’s fun!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My big ol’ problem is the fact that I excel at nothing, but am skilled in many, many things. I’m a jack of all trades. But – pardon the analogy, I’m slowly working myself off of FFXI – I’m like a new player to an MMORPG; I like doing a whole bunch of different activities,… Continue reading Decide<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-561","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/561","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=561"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/561\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=561"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=561"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=561"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}