I’ve been walking around in a daze today. It’s just so completely hard to put into words how I feel, but I guess there’s a good way to sum it up: I’ve never been so emotional about how emotionless I am. One would understand that this is a very hard thing to cope with. It’s wavering between two extremes, two extremes that are the reasons for one another.<\/p>\n
I’ve written about how I’ve been emotionless before. I barely cared about the lives lost in September 11. I left my mom’s house multiple times without shedding a tear. It’s only been recently when I’ve been consulting and solving others’ emotional dilemmas that my own emotions have been coming out.<\/p>\n
The most recent example is the masterfully done movie Amelie, which I saw today. Even though it’s lighthearted, it’s heartwarming, and it almost had me on the verge of tears. Getting into specifics, Amelie relates to me very much. Like Amelie, I have no problem living solitarily, watching the world go by while minding my own business. But once I get into solving the problems of others, it starts to occur to me that I need to feed my own building up feelings.<\/p>\n
This caring for other people? This selflessly solving their problems? I barely have done anything in the past that has not revolved around personal gain. I call these selfless acts of real love, which I have really never felt in the past. It’s a real awakening for me.<\/p>\n
Whether this is a step above my emotionless view from the past, or a backtrack into cheesy teenage emotions, I couldn’t care less. I think I’m old enough to live in the moment and decide how I feel about myself, and now, how I really feel for others.<\/p>\n
What would make me feel best, though, is if I loved and was loved back. That possibility is not far away.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’ve been walking around in a daze today. It’s just so completely hard to put into words how I feel, but I guess there’s a good way to sum it up: I’ve never been so emotional about how emotionless I am. One would understand that this is a very hard thing to cope with. It’s… Continue reading I love a person that can take me seriously.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-380","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/380","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=380"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/380\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=380"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=380"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=380"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}