Speaking about chocolate mints, here are some wacky directions that came with them. Watch as I MST the passage.<\/p>\n
Go ahead, enjoy a special moment<\/i><\/big><\/b>
…Ah, that was fun. Now I can start eating the mints.<\/p>\n
Indulge yourself with rich, smooth chocolate, kissed by a refreshing breath of cool mint.<\/b><\/p>\n
If I’ve been breathing on people my whole life, does that entail I’ve been kissing them?<\/p>\n
Its unique square shape fits perfectly in your mouth.<\/b><\/p>\n
Yeah, seeing that my mouth is square-shaped, and one of these mints is big enough to fill every crevice in it.<\/p>\n
Feel it glide across your tongue and glide back again<\/i>.<\/b><\/p>\n
Wow, it eliminates all friction imposed by my tongue altogether! And don’t forget to make it glide back. That last part is important because it’s italicized<\/i>!<\/p>\n
Now, just sit back, relax, and enjoy your smooth, chocolate mint experience.<\/b><\/p>\n
Uh oh… that’s where I break the law. I’m eating a mint as I’m typing this. Is multitasking not part of my smooth chocolate mint experience? Oh dear!<\/p>\n
Welcome to Velamints.<\/b>
Oh no… does this mean I’ve joined a cult?<\/p>\n
Experience a world of smoothness in a little chocolate mint.<\/b> Ah… MSTing brings back memories. Not that I am or ever was good at it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Speaking about chocolate mints, here are some wacky directions that came with them. Watch as I MST the passage. Go ahead, enjoy a special moment…Ah, that was fun. Now I can start eating the mints. Indulge yourself with rich, smooth chocolate, kissed by a refreshing breath of cool mint. If I’ve been breathing on people… Continue reading Untitled<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-315","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/315","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=315"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/315\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=315"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=315"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffreyatw.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=315"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
It fills my mouth, it’s as big as a world, it’s little… I’d tell the writer to make up his mind, but it DOES qualify as Engrish<\/a>, so I’ll let it pass.<\/p>\n